Heart Troubles

This is a devotional I read back in February I think, but I flipped to it today by accidentish, soooo. Here we go :)

'So many things can trouble our hearts. Unpaid bills. A frightening medical prognosis. Loss of a job. The death of a loved one. Upcoming surgery. An unexpected move. An argument with a close friend. A savage rumor. A church dispute.

The world is full of 'heart troubles', and it always will be. Yet Jesus does not expect us to deal with those troubles so much by ignoring them as by turning toward Him. As he said to his anxious disciples in John 14:1, 'Trust in God, trust also in me.'

What suffering and persecution and pain and difficulties do is not so much make us weak, as show us we are weak. Without them, we can deceive ourselves into believing we're prizefighters. With them, we're reminded that we're not constructed to function on our own power. the trick is to allow suffering to be used as a tool to help us depend on God and not on ourselves.

God didn't go halfway when he went to work on my behalf. He did it all. Even when I couldn't feel Him, even when I couldn't sense Him, even when I wasn't holding on to Him anymore, God worked on my behalf. He didn't need me to do a thing!

When I faced far worse than my worst imaginings, something unexpected and wonderful happened. I realized that God is in control and God is good - even when bad things happen in our lives.

Even though I didn't know what I might have to go through next, I could rest and accept it. Because now I knew that when I let go, I would fall into the strong hands of God.'

Lately I've had some really big decisions to make - ones that I've never had to make before, or ones I have, but have never had quite the consequences that these may. It's scary, being an adult. It's scary living in a world with wars and skyrocketing prices and natural disasters and abuse and theft and death. Life isn't easy, God never promised us it would be easy, but He DID promise He'd always be there for us to cling to. It's hard realizing that I have nothing to give Him that He could ever want ... But still He wants me anyways. There is a very sharp learning curve of inadequacy in Christ.

Sometimes, it's hard to silence ourselves in today's world. But Exodus 14:14 promises, 'The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.'

That's all for me today. My prayer for today is that our eyes be opened to our misplaced reliance, and learn to rest our eyes on the One that never fails.

xme

The smell of your skin lingers on me now ...

In the dark is
Where I see your heart
Next to you
Eyes flutter closed
Heartbeats match
Breathe in
Breathe out

Just breathe
Just be

This is where I belong
Lips made to fit
Arms meant to hold
Hearts meant to feel

We have been broken
We have been left
But trust breeds from mistrust
We can be won over

Take my hand
Dance this perfect dance

Your little secret
Your slip of the tongue
I forgive
Because I know
This is no mistake

Stole this from a friends Facebook. And she stole it from an ACTUAL book.

'Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated are dating or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends or if you are alone and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. Its about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life is about.'

Prove It

Can you fathom the attraction to a perfect ripped jean?
When I say 'I'm antisocial', do you know what I mean?
Do you understand the struggle to pick just the perfect scent?
If I said I had a bad day would you know what I meant?

Do you know who I am?
Do you see what makes me tick
And do you like it?
Can you fix what my past has caused
I'll never pretend
I'll tell you again
I'm a train wreck in the end.

Freedom, and success

Look what I can do
Look what I got through
When I have the chance
When I'm without you

See what I've become
Thought my world was undone
What I was waiting for
Was just the chance to run

Look what I can make
When it's something you can't take
You can dig in underneath
But I'm done being fake

Better watch me fly
I'll do it or I'll die
You never really bothered
To stop and ask me why

I wanted to be free
I lost my sense of me
In finding who I am
I'll become all I can be

Inception

Too late; invested
Never meant to
Never would
Must these dream layers end?

Such a pleasant slumber
Such a pretty thought
I entertain

This impression is not just my own

Held
Admired
Prized

I deserve to remember.

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

But you've got to know that I will be there

I had a hard day today. Just a day of emotions all coming crashing down on me, and me not knowing quite how to deal with all of them. But God has blessed me with my two roommates (Happy birthday Shay *hug*) who love me so unconditionally.

I read this on a friend's Tumblr and I felt the need to share it:

'so the other day i was going to church and as i walked threw the door everything seemed normal enough. the greeter at the door greeted me as usual, asked how i was doing and i said “good and yourself” the typical response. what struck me was his reply. i expected the typical “good thanks” but instead he replied with a “better than i deserve”. I’ll admit his reply though not what i expected didn’t really catch me off guard at first. it wasn’t until half way down the hall that i realized how truly profound his reply was (even if he meant to or not). “better than i deserve” he said, a statement that would ring true in my head for a long time to come. i realized that he was talking about how amazing it is to be loved by God. its is by His grace alone that we as christians can not only have salvation from an eternity of lets just say unpleasantness to say the least but that we can also live lives of true significance. Because of His grace we have life, we have purpose and we have a friend that will never leave us no matter the situation. ”better than i deserve” indeed, a statement that will remind me for a long time to come just how truly blessed i am. a statement that will brighten even my darkest of days.

live a life “better than you deserve” '

I didn't correct any of the spelling or grammar ... and for those of you that know me, it's bugging the crap out of me.

I got some great hugs today. I was reminded over and over again that I am loved, and looked after. I am content. I'm so so happy in my life. But that doesn't mean I don't have hard days. I think Life's just a little bit harder than I thought it was. But if I have God, and my family, and my friends, I think I'm okay with that.

My mommy called me exactly when I needed it today, before I even realized I needed it. She's a hero, she always seems to save the day, or fix me, at least a little bit.
---
Aries are adventurous and energetic. They are extremely passionate and dynamic. They will stand out from the crowd.

I'm listening to You're My Little Girl by Go Fish. On repeat. It makes me cry, but they're such good good tears.

xme

We need to pray

Short blog right now, sorry. I'm dealing with a few other loose ends right now that need to be tied up for the concert I'm helping organize week after next - for more details on that you can check out the Facebook event page at http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=112556425486712.

But today, I'm just asking for prayer for this guy. His name's Noah, and he's running across the southern United States for a rare and devastating neurological disease called Batten Disease. I follow a makeup artist on YouTube who introduced her subscribers to her friend Noah, and the family they know. This family has been effected by this disease, which only effects about 1000 kids in the US - they have TWO girls with it. I think we need to pray for Noah as he runs, but also the Allio family - especially Catie and Annie - as they cope with this disease and the horrifying symptoms of it. These girls have both lost their site, they experience seizures, hallucinations, cognitive loss, behavioral problems, dementia, and, eventually, death to the disease.

Please, just check out Noah's website - http://www.battenjourney.com - it'll give you all the information about Noah's run, where he is, how far he's gotten and how to donate to cause. Also, if you want to know more about the disease itself, I think the best place to start would be http://www.bdsra.com.

Maybe we don't know the family effected, but it's still not fair that any child should have to go through this. I'm sure prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your time, Bloggers.
xme

For a dear friend

When your whole world
Seems shaken to the core
Don't run away
Please don't hide your smile
Anymore

I'm here for you to lean on
I'll listen to you cry
I'll help you through
Even though you're strong enough
To fly

Those four words sink
Like the disaster they cause
Please lean on me
Rest your head, take a moment
Just pause.
---
You've been there for me, I'll be there for you. Don't ever forget that you're not alone and you don't have to do this on your own.

xme

Chivalry

Ooookay. A friend of mine wrote about chivalry today, and it really offended me, soooo. Here you go.

Basically, his writing was about how it's so hard for guys to be 'knights' in today's society. They have to give and give and give, and all they get in return is our affection. Which, he went on to state, is nice, but 'do all women really deserve chivalry?'

Ignorance is your new best friend.

I don't know what kind of girls this guy hangs out with, but in the end, most of us girls ARE NOT like that. All I ever expect from a guy is to be a gentleman. Hold the door open for me. Pay me a compliment from time to time. Offer me your gloves if you notice my hands are cold. I'm not asking for expensive gifts, or even for a guy to pay every time we go out. Once in a while, yeah, I'd love that. I like feeling special. But it doesn't have to cost money to make me feel special.

In the end, and in answer to the posed question, yes. All women really deserve chivalry. I'm someone's prize. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to feel pretty, I deserve to be special, and if someone disagrees, they don't deserve to be in my life. That's the black and white of it. I'm sorry if anyone's offended by that, I really don't mean to offend anyone, but that's just what I see.

You know what? I'm done. Sorry for the lack of writing over the last few days, and sorry this isn't longer, and for those of you who are wondering, yes, I had a great evening yesterday, thanks for blowing it out of proportion.

Night Blog, I'm done sharing my emotions, because tonight my emotions are quite negative.

Today's tidbit of advice comes from my boss: 'The best revenge is self-betterment.'