I don't have words tonight. But I have emotion.
I have so much regret. I never wanted to be this broken. I never asked for it, I never knew my choices could hurt like this. One photo, that's all it takes to break me. In my moment of weakness, I forget who I am, I forget who's fighting for me and my whole heart, and I end up ... here. Wherever here is.
I need constant reassurance that I am not alone. And when I don't have that security, that accountability ... This happens. I fall down, and I need picking back up. So here's my 'pick up':
'The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.'
It's that simple. It doesn't mean I'm fixed, it doesn't mean I'm better, it doesn't mean I'm healed. It means I'm liberated and free and alive, all I have to do is give up my hurts and struggles. The cost of an eternity of satisfaction through the One who loves best is my insecurities. In exchange for my messed up past, I'm going to be freed from all of it. All I have to do is ... be. How can I not love when that's what's loving me first?
Goodnight blog, I'm going to go dive into this more.
xme
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