This is what I am being tested on: my incapacity for patience. Waiting for healing, waiting for strength, waiting for my knight in shining armour. I'm not good at patience, and that is why I am needing so much lately ... I am being tested.
I am constantly being dragged back to Ecclesiastes 3:
(1) There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: (2) a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, (3) a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, (4) a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, (5) a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, (6) a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, (7) a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, (8) a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (11) He has made everything beautiful in it's time.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8, 11, NIV
This has always been one of my favorite passages. There is a time for EVERYTHING. There is not just a time to be good and another time to be good. There's a time for the good AND the bad. For suffering and healing, for hurting, for battles with self and society, for comfort, for growth. It's opened my eyes and reminded me that this life I'm living, yeah, it's a mess right now. I'm lost and most days, I feel like I'm wandering around blindly, but the Maker has a plan for me and my broken little existence.
Doesn't always make the hard days easier though. And after a few good days in a row, I knew the crash was coming. So if you see me today, and I look a little down? It's because my God has been gracious enough to give me three emotionally good days in a row. So if you see me today, please smile at me. I need a little brightness today.
Again, as always, thanks so much for reading, readers. It really means the world that you care.
xme
PS. WHILE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC OF PATIENCE. I am struggling greatly with my anticipation of February 6th. What is February 6th? Glee returns <3
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