brandon jazz!!

yaaay! we leave tomorrow. i've spent nearly half the day in bed TRYING to shake this cold so i won't be sick, but it appears there is no cigar when it comes to ditching this cold like a bad habit. it IS a bad habit. i ALWAYS get a cold just after operetta, apparently whether i'm performing or not.

ON THE TOPIC OF OPERETTA: i enjoyed doing make up, quite frankly. me and kat were going around and flaunting our supreme make up artist talents. well, no not really, but we joked between ourselves that we were son incredibly rad that it would seem egotistical to brag about our mad skills.

so maybe i'm glad thor didn't give me a part ... maybe? i don't know. i wish he would tell me WHY. did i get outvoted? i don't think so. was i not good enough last year? maybe. was it because i was behind in his class? probably not. (and if it was, that's effing retarded because rob was ALWAYS behind, even more than me, and he got leads all the time).

whatever. it's done. it's one less thing for me and mom to fight about, i suppose. we've been fighting A LOT lately, and it's kind of bogus. i wish she would stop trying to change ME and start trying to change HER. it's getting lame and annoying when she points out every single flaw i have and then when i dare to ask her a small little thing (example, please don't smoke upstairs, it makes me sick), she flys off the handle and calls me ungrateful or whatever and tells me i'm either a) moving in with dad (nice to know i have my own choice on where i live) or b) i'm not welcome in HER house anymore. whatever. she's so immature, it feels a lot of times like I'M the parent, and SHE'S the child.

i've really been realizing lately how much i need my friends. i've been leaning on them a lot recently, and i've noticed how much better i've felt. i know i need to stop trying to handle everything by myself, and i'm trying to change that. i'm finally ready to risk getting hurt if it means that i'll be happier in the end. and maybe i'll stop doing stupid things because of it.

and this was supposed to be a short post :P

but i've got to go. i have about a million and a half things to do. i need to get some laundry together ... i want to have a shower ... and i'm uber hungry. later days.

Life without music would Bm.